Smooth rebounded enough to make it home and I’m so glad he did because he was sooooooo happy and excited to get home! I gut wrenchingly had to take off from work tomorrow because I already know I will be no good being the walking emotional wreck that I am and I want to soak up every last second with smooth giving him the best day ever. I can’t put into words how absolutely heart broken I am. The pain is unreal.... smooth is not just a horse. He is family. He is connected to my heart a soul deeper than any living thing has ever been other than Vegas. He touched my heart and soul in a way nothing ever has or will again. Now I sit here soaking up that feeling, soak in his scent, listen more deeply to every nicker, and getting as many smoothie kisses possible to try to engrave all of this stuff into my memory knowing it will never been felt, seen, or heard again. I hope this horse understand what he did for me and how deeply loved he is.... why I have to loose something that means so much to me and is such a vital part of me, I will never understand.... I will likely be dropping off of the radar for a while as I try to learn to cope and live my life with such a heavy but yet empty heart. Because of him I cried a lot less and laughed soooo much more. My life will now be a lot more dull, quite and soooo much dimmer.... especially without our late night dance parties 💔
*Edit to add that he is not suffering at all. His temp got way too high at new Bolton and caused his heart rate to go up enough that it caused some problems. He is happy and relaxed at home now. You best believe this horse will not know what suffering or a bad moment is.
