BREAKING: “We have the one prize he cannot buy!” A satirist writer publicly savages Donald Trump with PERFECT explanation of why he will NEVER, EVER win the Nobel Prize – and how he’s too stupid to understand why!
This is so powerful…
Trump has spent the past week bitterly whining about how he didn’t win the Nobel Peace Prize despite all of his imaginary accomplishments, and writer Peter Girnus has decided to try to explain to him why there is no way he would ever win it.
Pretending to be a member of the Nobel Prize Committee, Girnus writes:
“A certain head of state wanted this prize the way a child wants a thing in a shop window, which is to say loudly, and in public, and with the full belief that wanting it was itself the argument. He said he deserved it. He said he’d ended eight wars, a number that grew most times he said it, like a fish. He had other heads of state phone us. Israel’s prime minister posted it on the internet, ‘Give him the Nobel.’”
“The leaders of Cambodia and Pakistan announced they’d nominated him, as though announcing it were part of it, as though we tally mentions. A man flew around the globe collecting endorsements for a Norwegian committee the way you’d collect signatures for a petition to the council about a noisy dog.”
“So who did we give it to?”
“An eighty-five-year-old woman. A judge. Born in Durban, under apartheid, granddaughter of a Tamil man who came to South Africa as indentured labor, a bus driver’s daughter from the poor Indian quarter, who became the first non-white woman to run a law practice in her province, who defended Mandela’s people when defending them was dangerous, who sat on the Rwanda tribunal and the court at the Hague, and who, at eighty-five, is right now a judge weighing whether a genocide is a genocide.”
“She did not phone us. She did not post. No prime minister demanded it for her on the internet. She had, as far as our deliberations are concerned, the one qualification the loud man could never manufacture, which is that she wanted the work and not the medal. The medal finds those people. It flees the ones who chase it.”
“Here is what he will never understand, the thing I’d tell him on the tram if he ever took one. We are the one prize he cannot buy, cannot post his way to, cannot have a friendly dictator phone in for him. Not because we’re incorruptible, nei, we’re as vain and wrong and human as the portraits on our wall. But because the entire point of the thing, the only power a small cold country’s book club has ever held, is that it goes to the person not performing the wanting.”
“The moment you demand it, you’ve proven you don’t understand what it’s for, and proving that is itself the disqualification. He ran the most expensive campaign in the history of the prize and the campaign was the reason. He was never losing to Navi Pillay. He was losing to the concept.”
BOOM.
This is perfectly said. Trump’s obsession with the peace prize is beyond pathetic, and the fact that he cannot even understand the dissonance between starting a war and demanding a peace prize shows that this is all about his selfish ego and he couldn’t care less about world peace.
